changing thoughts

Change your thoughts and you change your world. ...Norman Vincent Peale

this quote often confounds me, but tonight it worked!  i was crying over the 15th frustrating thing to happen to me.  i stopped for a second and asked myself, 'do i want to spend my time being angry or do i want to enjoy myself?'  the tears stopped abruptly and i looked at facebook to see how my friends are.  i've stopped to write this, then i've got bills to pay before i can look for more fun.  but the anger, frustration and sadness are gone!  at least for this moment my world feels okay, and living in the moment is what keeps me going.  i hope i can change my thoughts easily every time, but i think it will take practice.

give it a try!  see what you think.  best wishes and happy holidays!

my goals

Let your light shine. Be a source of strength and courage. Share your wisdom. Radiate love.
– Wilferd Peterson

i came across this quote today and was amazed by how succinctly it describes my goals - for life, through this blog and in the book i'm beginning to write. for a moment i thought, 'this guy has said everything already. will my book be any different?' then i read again - share your wisdom. so i will continue. my wisdom is bound to be unique to me.

and you? will you let your light shine? if you haven't discovered yours yet, keep looking. i believe we all have one, whether or not we acknowledge or abide by it.

will you be a source of strength and courage? i didn't realize how strong i was until i faced life-altering struggles. i read somewhere that courage is moving forward when you're afraid. we can admit to our fears and still show strength.

will you share your wisdom? no two people have the exact same thoughts. no two people experience the same situation in the exact same way. your wisdom is as important as mine or anyone's - it's a matter of where it applies.

will you radiate love? this may be the most difficult. how do we do it? i try with my smile and using kind words. i hope that my love for people is conveyed. i intend that love for every person, in varying degrees. of course my love for family and friends is different than my love for someone i've never met. it is there nonetheless. even for criminals to an extent. they must have lacked love to do such awful things. for them i have sympathy. i hope that every person, good or bad, will see or feel love radiate from me.

so, do what you can, big or small. you do make a difference in the world!

the power to choose

The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose. --J. Martin Kohe

our choices determine our destiny. choosing a job, a home, friends and life partner creates the picture our life will take.

choosing our reaction to things is even more important. our reactions color our days. if i oversleep and miss a meeting, should i grumble all day over my mistake or should i find out what i missed and get on with the day? if someone is rude to me, should i be rude back or be quick and polite and finish what needs to be done? if i'm sick, should i be miserable or admit it's a bad situation and find ways to rest and get healthy? if i'm unemployed for a long time, should i feel sorry for myself or find something i can accomplish so my time is not wasted? of course, i would choose the latter in every case. is it always an easy choice? rarely. it takes effort to stay positive when things go wrong. yet, that extra effort will determine if we have a good or bad experience.

then there are times when choices are hard. should i eat the ice cream calling me or step on the scale to remind myself why the ice cream is a bad choice? should i stay up late to watch a movie or get to sleep so i'm ready to work tomorrow? should i get drunk at happy hour or limit myself to 3 drinks and keep my wits about me? the answer may be obvious, but it's not always easy to make the best choice.

for me, the most important choice that colors my world is with which people do i choose to spend my time? at work i keep interactions short with the people i don't like. when i meet someone new, i decide to continue the acquaintance only if the person is positive. i choose to keep negative people out of my life. it's hard enough to stay positive every day without having someone discourage you. i surround myself with people who encourage my positive outlook.

i can't control everything in life, but i can control my choices to make my life the best it can be.

same and different

On a basic level we are the same. I want a happy life. You want happy life. We can communicate, we can walk together, we can make a common effort for a better world. - His Holiness the Dalai Lama

there are so many differences in people in our neighborhood and around the world. different languages, religions and cultures. life would be pretty boring if we were all the same.

the dalai lama's quote is the key. in spite of all of our differences we all want a happy life. the question is: can we accept each other's differences? can we accept that you don't need to believe what i believe? i hope that we can find common ground enough to help each other achieve a happy life.

today well-lived

For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision,
But today well-lived makes
Every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well therefore to this day!
Such is the salutation of the dawn!
- Sanskrit poem

we've just passed the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. these are long days of sunlight and temperatures that encourage us to get outside. so we have extra time to live well and make dreams of happiness and visions of hope.

what will you do with your day?

my wish for each of us is that we spend time doing something we love with people we love. remember to stop and acknowledge the moments we enjoy. look back on moments that we've enjoyed in the past. if your present is not enjoyable, look for things you can change. if there are things we cannot change, we must find a way to live with our circumstances. if nothing else, we can close our eyes and imagine what we desire. using positive images makes me feel better. why not give it a try?

listening

Listening is where love begins: listening to ourselves and then to our neighbors. - Mister Rogers

this is a difficult thing to do these days. with busy schedules, media and e-communication we have little time or quiet to ourselves. i encourage you to try what i did. i started with 5 minutes per day. some days i manage 20 minutes, but i'm happy if i get at least 5. in those minutes i sit and try to quiet my thoughts. when i can do that i try to listen. i'm hoping to get ideas that will help my well-being or maybe a problem at hand.

i don't literally hear anything. what i do get is a sense about things. i'm listening for feelings. how can i get through a frustration? what can i do to help a friend? why am i so sad? sometimes i have no question at all. i simply listen for what thoughts or feelings that might be there. frequently, the only thing i sense is, 'wow, it's nice to be quiet.' the best thing i've learned is that i am an important and loved part of this universe.

i really like mister rogers' idea of listening to our neighbors. this is the way to peace. to understand those who are different from us is the way to living together with acceptance instead of fear and anger. this is different but very important listening.

the society of friends, the quakers, believe that god speaks to all of us if we're open to listening. their sunday service is an hour of silence. the quiet may be broken if someone feels they have a message to share, something that came to them while sitting quietly. they believe there is a spiritual power in coming together and listening as a group.

listening to your conscience is important too, though it's not always easy. even as an adult, i often fight my conscience about going to bed at night. i always want to do 'just one more thing.' i'm learning though that my conscience is always right. if i listen closely, i make good decisions and life turns out better. quiet helps.

i used to be one who didn't like silence. it felt uncomfortable. now i appreciate it because it is often hard to find. i've learned a lot about myself and problem solving by listening. try it! you never know what you'll hear.

seeing

here's another Harry Chapin song i like called Flowers Are Red:

there are so many colors in the rainbow
so many colors in the morning sun
so many colors in the flowers
and i see every one

[which is in response to]
flowers are red
and green leaves are green
there's no need to see flowers any other way
than the way they always have been seen

the point being that there is more than one way to look at life and it is up to us to decide how we see things.

i was part of an art show the other night. there were at least 16 artists participating, each of us with our own perspective. every patron as well had their own perspective. the best part of art for me is feeling a certain way given the viewer's point of view. there was art that made me happy, calm, intrigued, or even curious. it's up to me to decide how i see things. there are many ways to interpret any image.

i hope we can apply this thought to the world around us. the people we meet, politics, our expectations for our lives can all be interpreted in different ways by different people. we can't always see things the same way as our neighbors. that's o.k. the key is to be tolerant of people with different perspectives. it's important to be able to agree to disagree. it takes all kinds of people to make the world more interesting.

see things your way and accept that yours is not the only way. life is open to interpretation.

also, happy spring!

work

Your work is the rent you pay for the room you occupy on earth.
- Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon, former Queen consort of the United Kingdom

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
- John Ruskin

i hear many people complain about work. if you don't enjoy your job, maybe you need a change. of course, jobs are tough to get, so maybe you can change the way you view your job. do you help people? do you keep the world going; keep it clean, fix things, etc.? can you see yourself as part of the whole? is there a co-worker your friendly with? is there something, even small, that you look forward to each day? i encourage you to find something you like about your work. so much of our time is spent on the job. to have a good life it's important to spend your time doing something you enjoy.

i was a teacher for 10 years. i enjoy children and felt good helping them. i miss that, but i'm not able to do it anymore.

now i'm beginning as an artist and writer, things i can do as my energy allows. i'm not getting paid, but i enjoy my 'work.' in fact, i've just launched my 1st public web gallery. the address is www.liesloberfeld.com - link found to your right.

so, i wish you all happy working!

success

The making of friends, who are real friends, is the best token we have of success in life.
– Edward Everett Hale

what do think it takes to be successful? having money is important. i think that enjoying your career is essential. enjoying the people in your life is the most important. surrounding yourself with people who make you feel happy and positive can make you a success no matter your bank account or your job. maybe you have only one good friend. if you support each other and spend quality time together, you have success.

i urge you to count the quality of your relationships rather than the quantity of your possessions and money when you count your worth. when you are old and gray, it will be the people in your life that you'll remember. they will color your life.

even facebook friends will have an influence whether they are acquaintances or dear friends. if you read your 'wall' on a regular basis, you will receive positive or negative messages. choose carefully who you allow into your life. even acquaintances have a part in coloring your life.

whatever goals i may accomplish in my life, the one i'll be most proud of is being a good friend. even at 40 years old, i consider myself a success because of the friendships i have cultivated. wishing you a life rich in happy friendships!

i wonder what would happen

i love harry chapin songs and ideals. this song in particular:

"I Wonder What Would Happen to this World"

Oh if a man tried
To take his time on Earth
And prove before he died
What one man's life could be worth
I wonder what would happen
to this world

--Harry Chapin

i've been thinking about the difference one person can make. if you do something positive and i do and the next person and so on, the world gets better bit by bit. what if i spend my life doing good things? i encourage others to do the same. then they encourage others. i believe we can outdo all the negative deeds that are reported on tv. of course, we'll have to infiltrate the media to highlight the good deeds.

what can you do to change the world? i'm always looking for new ways. this blog is one.

freedom of the mind

I know but one freedom, and that is the freedom of the mind.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

america prides itself on being free. we are more free than many countries. i'm grateful to live here.

some of us are restricted by lack of income or poor health. that's why i like this quote. i might be unemployed. i might have a disability. what i do have at any given moment are my thoughts and imagination. even people suffering from dementia, i hope, can have happy thoughts. the freedom of the mind allows us to create our world. i may not find a job, but i can enjoy my extra free time. if i have a disease it is up to me how i react to it. 'oh, woe is me' is unappealing. gratitude for small things can shape your life. it's your free mind that gets to decide how you see the world and yourself.

you are wonderful and special. use your free mind to feel positive and find the silver lining in all situations. it takes practice. give it a try!

happy new year!

we celebrate new beginnings now, but really every morning is a chance for a new start. even any time of day we could see something we'd like to change. there's no reason to wait for the next day or the next year to make a change for the better. every moment is a chance to make a positive choice.

the positive choice i made before i started this post was to let someone i love know how much they mean to me. then, i decided to share my positive feelings here. i'm not sure what i'll do next, but it's up to me to make each moment as good as it can be.

so, i say, 'happy new moment!'