friends

i love my friends. each one holds a special place in my heart. some of them are family members whom i've come to know as friends, my sister and aunt are two. some of them are people with whom i've shared so much time and experience that they feel like family members. some of them i've met at special times in my life and we've formed great connections. i don't get to see them all as much as i'd like. days, months, sometimes years go by between visits. they are no less dear to me. if you are my friend, please know i think of you often whether i'm in touch or not and that my life is better because i know you.

i bring up friends now because this is the time of year that i love to do a friendship lesson with students. in fact, it is a nj health curriculum standard to teach the importance of friendship.

we talk about why friends are important. they have fun with us. they share good times and bad. they help us when we need them. they laugh and cry with us. they enrich our lives.

then i do an activity i got from an idea in an email forwarded story. i give each student a paper with the names of all of their classmates. i ask them to choose one kind word to describe each person on the list. the idea being: to have a friend, you need to be a good friend. one way to be a good friend is to use kind words. they can write a kind word for themselves, too. we must treat ourselves as well as we treat others. next, i take the papers home and type for each student a list of all the kind things people wrote about them. i hope each one feels a little better about themselves than before the activity.

it is my aim, as a teacher and a friend, to make each person i know feel good about themselves. i hope i can spread that feeling to all who read this blog.

to encourage you to use kind words, i've provided a list near the bottom of the page.

the feeling i give

people will forget what you said. people will even forget what you did. but people will NEVER forget how you made them feel. --unknown

i hope that if you know me, i've made you feel special, even loved. if you've begun to know me through this blog, i want you to know - i think each of you are special. the world would be worse without you. you make a difference.

sunshine

my friend, elizabeth, and i were talking about how much easier it is to be in a good mood when the sun is shining. there is actually a reason for that! serotonin (the hormone associated with elevated mood) increases when exposed to bright light. sunshine is a natural anti-depressant. conversely, melatonin (the sleep hormone) increases as light fades, so nights and cloudy days can make us sleepy.

now i know why i haven't felt so cheery lately (besides the usual frustrations). this spring has not been consistently sunny. today in fact, the clouds keep coming and going. while i love the cool temperatures, i'm looking forward to more sun filled days!

for now, i'll have to focus on the light inside me.
hope you feel it when you see my smile.

honoring mothers

happy mother's day!

if you have a wonderful mother, tell her you think so.

if your mother leaves something to be desired, think of one quality you like and share your thoughts. if you don't speak to her, think the kind thought to yourself.

if your mother treated you terribly, think of someone else who makes you feel good. think of our Mother Earth and all she can bring to your life.

today is a day about love. if you feel you don't have love in your life, or even if you do, please know i'm sending love to you. whether i know you or not, i send you love from my spirit.

interactions

have you ever thought about the influence you have on others? i believe that the people we encounter in our lives help to shape our outlook.

when you pass a stranger on the street, do you avert your eyes or give a smile? when you're out shopping, do you thank the cashier or just nod? when a co-worker needs help, do you offer assistance or look busy so you won't be bothered? when a family member calls, do you answer the phone with a weary sigh or a bright "hello!"? when a friend wants to make plans, do you take every chance you get to have a good time?

the way you interact with others shapes your life and theirs. what kind of influence do you want to have? how will you shape your own life?

i offer you my smile and wish you well.

embracing differences

my students have said to me, “i can’t do it (math, writing, etc.) like everyone else.” i would tell them, “not everyone learns in the same way or works in the same way. being different is great! it makes life interesting. if we all looked the same, thought the same, and did the same things, life would be so boring!”

as kids, we want to be the same so we feel we belong. as adults, we do too, I guess. belonging feels good. on the other hand, learning and seeing new things is fun. if we stay in the comfortable, same world we know, we don’t learn or grow.

i say, “embrace differences!” get to know people who don’t look like you, believe like you do, work like you do. as long as people avoid differences, we will treat each other differently. be open to the idea that your way may not be the only way. if we recognize that everyone simply wants to be loved and make sense of life (in their own way), we might exist in a more positive world.

philosophy

first, happy cinco do mayo!

i've been developing my philosophy over the years, and i'm sure it will continue to grow and change. i have 4 statements i try to keep in mind. i keep them posted around the house. they are as follows in this particular order:

live in each moment.

it is what it is.

if you can change your thoughts, you can change your world. (taken from a quote by motivational speaker, norman vincent peale)

life is what we make it. (taken from a quote by artist, grandma moses)

while they are all separate ideas, i use them together. first, live in each moment. life is best appreciated when we can stop and be aware of what's happening and what we are feeling. for instance, right now i'm eating a snack, typing, and listening to the squirrels eating outside the window. it's a nice moment. i do have times that aren't so great, and that's when i move onto the next idea.

it is what it is. some moments are terrible, like getting a shot of novocaine in the roof of your mouth for dental work. it isn't fun, but it is sometimes unavoidable. it is what it is. it's awful, but it won't last forever.

now for the tricky part. if you can change your thoughts, you can change your world. if i'm in the dentist's chair and can think, "this will improve my health. i'll daydream of where i'd like to go on vacation while i lie here." hopefully, if i can focus on the daydream, my moment will be pleasant. change your thoughts. i can tell you though, this is often difficult or impossible. that is why i put the 'if' at the beginning.

finally, life is what we make it. did i choose to have dental work? no! how i think about that moment and subsequent moments, makes my life better or worse. if i spend the rest of the day complaining about the dentist visit, i'm prolonging the agony. if i can say, "whew, that's over! my teeth are healthier, and i can go do something i enjoy now," the awful moment has passed, and i can go on to appreciate a better moment.

the silver lining to those awful moments is that they help us to appreciate the good, better, and best moments.

here's a recent best moment for me: making silly sounds to my 6 month old niece and getting a big smile in return. there's some positive energy for you.