feeling down?

i know a lot of people get down this time of year. while i'm enjoying the holidays and time with family and friends, i've been feeling low myself. if you know me, you may not believe it, but it's true. i came across this quote which feels very appropriate:

if it weren't for the dark days, we wouldn't know what it is to walk in the light. --earl campbell

even in our worst moments we can keep that thought in mind. it doesn't always change my mood in the moment, but i try to get back to it later. in comparison to the number of dark days i have, my life is full of light ones. i hope your life is too.

friends or angels

below is a list of family and friends who have touched my life. if your name isn't here, i most likely don't have your birthday. i made this list from the names on my master birthday calendar. i am very grateful to have such a long list!

i've been thinking a lot about how God works in our lives. i think God often speaks to us through people we know. so i often think of friends as angels. most recently, my angel/friend, Denise, sent me some books and CDs that have helped me focus my thinking on spirituality. so, thank you God and thank you Denise for helping me along my journey. thank you to the rest of you for bringing your light into my life.

yes, from now on i will be including some of my views on spirituality. i don't pretend to know what is fact. i won't try to convince you to agree with my thinking. i'm just putting my positive thoughts out into the world.

Thank you,
Alexander, Allison, Amy, Andee, Andy, Angela, Ann, Anne, Beecher, Benjamin, Betty, Betty Lou, Bill, Bonnie, Brian, Brianna, Bridget, Brooke, Bruce, Carol, Charlene, Charlotte, Chaz, Cheri, Christian, Christina, Chuck, Cindy, Claire, Cliff, Dale Leslie, Darryl, Dave, David, Deb, Dee, Denise, Don, Donna, Dorothy, Dwight, Ed, Edie, Elizabeth, Ellie, Emily, Erin, Faith, Fallyn, Fidget, Fran, Gail, Georgia, Ginger, Glen, Grace, Greg, Hannah, Helen, Homer Dale, Jack, Jacob, Jacques, Jamey, Jamie, Janet, Jean, Jennifer, Jerry Bill, Jessica, Jim, Joanna, John, JoLynn, Judy, Julia, Julie, June, Karen, Kathie, Kathy, Katie, Kay, Keith, Kelly, Ken, Kirk, Kristin, Larry, Laura, Laurie, Leslie, Liesl, Lisa, Lori, Lorraine, Manley, Marc, Marcia, Marjorie, Martha, Martin, Matt, Melissa, Michelle, Mike, Milo, Monica, Nancy, Nicholas, Nicky, Noah, Norma, Norman, Pamela, Pat, Patricia, Patti, Phyllis, Rachel, Rama, Raymond, Rebecca, Richard, Rob, Roger (Gabby), Ruthie, Sally, Sam, Sandy, Sarah, Sean, Skittles, Skyler, Stephanie, Steve, Sue, Susan, Susanne, Tamika, Tara, Teresa, Terry, Tina, Tinny, Tobin, Tom, Trish, Viola, Watson, Wayne, Winifred, Winnie

reflecting

my friend, elizabeth, made an observation recently and had some interesting thoughts to share.

"I was actually looking at this shiny piece in a stone the other day (I have no idea what that's called, but you know how there are shiny metallic bits in some rocks?), and the sun was shining in such a way that this tiny little bit was reflecting the light so intensely. I had to look away it was so bright, the same way that snow or water can feel a little blinding when the sun's causing them to reflect its light. So I thought, well, isn't that how it is with people? I mean, that little shiny bit in the rock was shining so brightly, but it wasn't even a light itself. It was just reflecting. I believe that people have light within them, but that we as humans also have the ability to reflect light just like that shiny bit. So our value isn't just in shining our own lights, but in reflecting any light that comes our way, like the light from others, so where there were once merely two brightly shining lights, there are now beams of light so astonishing we make have to look away for a moment. It's like we have super powers to multiply light.”

i love the idea that when people get together their light gathers and grows. i hope that the people who read this share their light and reflect light coming from people they know.

happy birthday to me!

mine was yesterday : )

birthdays have so many connotations. if you're 9 years old, you're excited, looking forward to parties and presents. if you're 19, you're just dying to be 21. if you're 29 or 39 or 49 or 59, you might be dreading the next BIG one. that's when you start getting the consolation of, "it's better than the alternative!"

the only number i've struggled with so far was 35. i felt it was the end of my youth. i was officially a grown-up... ugh! since then i've gotten used to the idea. i've made peace with being a grown-up. it is only through growing up that i have discovered and developed (still doing so) my oh-so-important light.

so here are some new ways i like to think about birthdays:
We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end.
...Benjamin Disraeli
We turn not older with the years but newer every day.
...Emily Dickenson
May you live all the days of your life.
...Jonathan Swift

birthdays are good days to really appreciate the moment you are experiencing. this is something i try to practice daily. to feel light in any given moment is a precious gift, and it is all i need for my birthday. wishing you many moments full of light.

light

you may have noticed, i talk a lot about light. it is a connection to spirituality for me. i don't believe in one religion alone. i don't believe there is only one way to look at life. i make room for the possibility of more than one right answer. no one knows the answers. when i think about spirituality, i go with what makes me feel good. light brings those positive feelings for me.

please note: i don't try to make anyone believe the way i do. i just share my thoughts.


there's a christian song, 'this little light of mine.' here's my adaptation:

this bright light of mine
i'm gonna let it shine...
and
you have it too
i'll help you let it shine...
let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

quakers (friends) believe that we all have a 'light within.' there is 'that of God' in all of us. i agree. not everyone knows they have it. not everyone pays attention to it. certainly, not everyone acts on it. yet, i believe it is there.

so i am here to shine my light as far as i can. i will continue to share my smile and look for the light within each person i meet.

peace

i recently watched the dvd "jimmy carter: man from plains" and was reminded of what one person can do to promote peace. he inspires me.

i doubt i'm ambitious enough to do something worthy of the nobel peace prize, but i'm so glad there are people out there who are.

dr. martin luther king, jr. was only 35 years old when he was given that award. i really like this quote from him: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

i look up to these men and hope to follow their example in whichever way i can. i hope this blog will make some small step toward a more peaceful world.

sunshine

my friend, elizabeth, and i were talking about how much easier it is to be in a good mood when the sun is shining. there is actually a reason for that! serotonin (the hormone associated with elevated mood) increases when exposed to bright light. sunshine is a natural anti-depressant. conversely, melatonin (the sleep hormone) increases as light fades, so nights and cloudy days can make us sleepy.

now i know why i haven't felt so cheery lately (besides the usual frustrations). this spring has not been consistently sunny. today in fact, the clouds keep coming and going. while i love the cool temperatures, i'm looking forward to more sun filled days!

for now, i'll have to focus on the light inside me.
hope you feel it when you see my smile.

helping myself

do you ever have days when the smallest things frustrate you? days when each little thing gets on your nerves until you just want to explode?

today has been one of those days for me. i did explode. while no one was around i yelled and cried until that weight of anger dispersed. the day's not over, but for the moment i feel better.

to move beyond the anger i look for things i enjoy. first, i ate something sweet (not so healthy). next, i read a bit. finally, i decided to come to my blog to remind myself of the positive side of myself. sometimes i need a dose of my own shining light.