avoiding confrontation

do you ever pick a fight with a loved one when you're stressed? it's odd though. if we're so stressed, why do we add a confrontation to an already difficult situation.

i always think about what i'm going to say and ask, "is it helpful? do i expect a positive change? or will i simply vent a frustration and create more unpleasant feelings?"

today i found myself asking those questions. my husband did something that made me angry. i thought that if i didn't tell him, the anger would eat at me. then i thought, "what's done is done. i don't need him to change anything. adding my anger now will just create more stress." so i vented by writing a letter. i still want him to know what bothered me. now, i can let him know at some time after our current stressful situation ends.

i expressed my feelings and avoided a confrontation. our day will be at least that much less stressful. see if you can ask yourself those questions the next time you're angry. you could make your life a little more peaceful.

point of view

a couple of months ago i watched a movie called "vantage point." it told the story of an event that took place in 30 minutes. you saw the same half hour from 6 people's vantage points. it brought me to an interesting realization. no 2 people live in the exact same world. our personalities and experiences give us each a different foundation of understanding the world. so even if we spend time together, our perspective of that activity is colored by our past.

for instance, bill and i watched a movie about a father dying. at the end, bill was sad, but i felt more resolute about having important conversations with my dad while i can. there, our activity was the same but our perspectives were not.

i'm not sure what will come from this realization. i hope it will help me be more understanding of people. trying to see things from another's perspective can help us get along. that can make the world a better place. that's my goal.

grateful

i just watched a movie about love between men and women and between parents and children. i have to express how grateful i am to have been given the wonderful kinds of love in my life. i am loved by parents, family, friends and my husband. i can think of any person in my life and feel one kind of love or another.

i am most grateful to my mom and to my grandparents for showing me that i am worthy of love and for showing me how to love. i watched their interactions with myself and others. i listened to what they said. i felt their love and so adopted their ways of giving love to those around me.

today, my life is filled with love. i hope i make my friends and family feel the same way.

while it is a different kind of love, i send loving thoughts out to humankind. the world needs as much love as it can get. i hope that everyone tries to give as much love as they can.

love

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.--Buddha

in the new year and always, treat yourself lovingly.

feeling down?

i know a lot of people get down this time of year. while i'm enjoying the holidays and time with family and friends, i've been feeling low myself. if you know me, you may not believe it, but it's true. i came across this quote which feels very appropriate:

if it weren't for the dark days, we wouldn't know what it is to walk in the light. --earl campbell

even in our worst moments we can keep that thought in mind. it doesn't always change my mood in the moment, but i try to get back to it later. in comparison to the number of dark days i have, my life is full of light ones. i hope your life is too.

peace on earth

whatever you believe at this time of year, we can all abide by science's winter solstice. yesterday was the shortest day of the year. we can all celebrate getting a little extra daylight everyday. i spoke about the mood enhancing properties of sunlight in an earlier post. here's to sunnier, happier days!

also, i want to wish us all peace on earth. i think we can all agree that the end of diminishing others/fighting/war would make the world a better place.

take a moment and listen for peace. it's out there. we have to keep listening and practicing it.

peace, love, and joy to all!

what do you believe?

recently, i read an article about universalism. i like the idea that many ways of believing can exist without saying one way is more right than the other. 'ways to believe' should include religions from different parts of the world as well as non-faith-based belief systems.

i was raised in a family who celebrates Christmas and Easter. i hesitate to call myself a Christian because i dislike the idea that if you don't believe in 'the right way,' you are less valued. i've learned a lot from different types of Christianity, Buddhism, and Taoism. i'd like to learn about other belief systems. i'm always interested to talk to people who share their views. i'd love to get comments from anyone reading this.

here's what i believe (though it often changes): God loves us and takes care of us - all of us, no matter what we believe. things go wrong in the world because people aren't perfect. it is our job to learn from people and to be the best person we can be. God works through us and the interactions between people. the more positive interactions we make, the better the world will be.

those are all ideas put together from different sources. i don't say that anyone else should believe the way i do. this is just what feels right for me. spirituality is a journey. where has your journey taken you?