grieving

While this is a season of joy, it is also one when many of us grieve for loved ones who have died. The following is about grieving for my mother, but please read through to the end to catch my positive spin...

I am mad that Mom doesn't get the chance to turn 59 or any other age over 53. I'm so jealous of families whose parents live into their 70s, 80s or 90s. Of course, she won't have to deal with aging or losing her mental faculties or quality of life.

Still, I'm selfish; I want her here with me! I want her present for weddings, births and all the smaller good things, too. She should have had more opportunities to travel, see friends, etc.

I guess I have to hold on to my belief that her spirit is always with me and that she IS present for all life's events. She probably IS still traveling and seeing friends!

I'm happy to say that 16 years after her death, I am more blessed for having her as long as I did than I am angry about my loss. She is with me every time I think of her. I am never alone because I carry her in my heart.

Much love to you and to those you carry in your heart.

reflect

There are two ways of spreading light: be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.—Edith Wharton

I believe that each of us can help make the world a more positive place by sharing our light. Something else we can do is to hold a mirror so others can see their light. When you speak to friends, family, even strangers, it would do them a great service if you can help them recognize how special and wonderful they are. If we all shared our light and supported the light of the people we encounter, peace would spread across the world.

Be the light. Reflect the light in others. Who can you reach out to today? Who do you know who needs a little encouragement? Even a quick e-mail with kind words could make a big difference.

handling

I like this change to the old adage:

God doesn't give us what we can handle, God helps us handle what we are given. - unknown

Even, or especially, in difficult times, I lean on God and I feel supported. I feel understood and loved. Most of all, God gives me the feeling that everything is going to be okay no matter what challenge I must face.

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defining light

I believe we all have light to share. Recently, I was called on to define what I call “light.” I'm still not sure exactly how to define it. On one hand, I believe our light is “that of God within us” which I get from the Religious Society of Friends, a.k.a. Quakers. I was trying to define it without the sense of religion. I believe you do not need to believe in God to find your light.

Being human, or I would argue even animal, qualifies us to have something special and wonderful that no one else on earth has. That something special is our potential light.

But the trick is, am I talking about a passion for something, a drive or ambition, some type of skill? That's not quite it. Self-esteem comes closer. We do need to feel good about ourselves to acknowledge and use our light. But low self-esteem does not indicate an absence of light.

Maybe it is believing in ourselves, knowing that we are special and wonderful, and then following through on putting ourselves to good use. I will keep working on this definition. Any ideas?

Kevin follow-up

My book club met last week to discuss We Need to Talk About Kevin, and a lot of the discussion was about nature versus nurture. I will continue to hope that enough nurture can overcome a negative nature. Realistically though, I realize that's not always possible. If it was, we could “cure” the world of criminal activity.

So then, is peace on earth possible? If there will always be some people who are by nature negative, there may always be negative things happening. All the more reason for people like me to continue spreading positive energy. If we can't erase negativity, maybe we can diminish it.

Kevin

Just finished reading We Need to Talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver. Somehow I liked the story even though it was very depressing. While it is fiction, I'm sure there are similar true stories. A mother tells the story of her teenage son who killed students and a teacher at his high school.

I have always liked to believe that every baby born has something good inside. With a positive environment and enough nurture, every child has the potential for greatness. We are each special, wonderful people who can make the world a better place.

The boy in the story was angry right out of the womb. He seemed doomed from the start. So, I guess I need to admit that there may be some lost causes.

That won't stop me on my mission, which is to help people feel their light. I still believe most of us are special and wonderful and have something to offer the world. That goes for everyone reading this!